EURO JOKING, REF!

Aside from the penalty David Beckham put into orbit, the enduring image of England’s Euro 2004 campaign is Sulzeer (Sol) Campbell’s disallowed goal at a crucial juncture of the quarter-final against the hosts.

The only dispute from neutrals, however, was whether Campbell or Chelsea’s next manager John Terry actually fouled keeper Ricardo. And there were early cracks in the ‘we woz robbed’ story concocted by the pundits, when “I’ve seen them given” crossed the lips of an ill-informed ex-player.

There were relative howls of outrage after Alan Shearer’s similar non-goal in 1998. That could have been a combination of Argentinean opponents and ITV’s tabloid presentational style. But the clincher was that the Queen thought Shearer’s goal legitimate but said nothing in defence of Campbell. And she’s not biased. She’s German…

Bad officials in World Cups are ‘third world’ representatives, apparently unused to high pressure fixtures, which will be news to Iranian or Egyptian officials, for example, who’ve ever controlled top domestic ‘derby’ fixtures, especially the Cairo derby between Al-Ahly and Al-Zamalek, in front of six-figure crowds behaving like they’re on a mixture of speed and Stella.

But, as someone wrote after Euro ’96, “officials in this tournament are no better despite all the benefits of western civilisation.” In general, though, England have rarely been victims of poor officialdom. More often beneficiaries, actually. And they avoided controversy in the first competition in 1960 by not entering it. Another display of the little-Englander insularity that has served our game so well.

And it was hard to blame officialdom for England’s exit from the 1964 qualifiers – a 5-2 defeat in Paris. The press didn’t call for the debutant manager’s head either. Which was just as well, as it was Alf Ramsey.

Those competitions were marred more by politics than poor decisions. Spain should have met the Soviet Union in both. But fascist dictator Francisco Franco refused to let ‘his’ team travel to Moscow for the 1960 quarter-final.

Frankie was less principled when Spain had home advantage over the Soviets in the 1964 final. And the situation was ripe for political pressure. ‘Tea with Mussolini’ had been a pre-match ritual for referees in charge of Italy’s games in the 1934 World Cup long before it was a film. But Franco didn’t get the scones out. And Spain’s late winner produced the right result the right way.

Qualifying groups first appeared for 1968, with the 1967 and ’68 Home Internationals serving as one. A fact camouflaged by Scotland’s 3-2 Wembley win in 1967. Far from making Scotland ‘world champions’ it wasn’t even enough to get them to the European Nations Cup quarter-finals.

England’s subsequent semi-final against Yugoslavia saw Alan Mullery become the first England player sent off on international duty, when he retaliated after 90 minutes of being kicked. But Yugoslavia scored the game’s only goal four minutes beforehand. So, right result again.

As it was, emphatically, in 1972. England’s qualifying group of Switzerland, Greece and Malta might be problematical now but not then. And England’s success set up a two-legged quarter-final with West Germany (until 1980, the ‘finals’ were just the two semis, the final itself and a third-place play-off).

In theory, the two late goals (including a penalty) which gave a Günter Netzer-inspired West Germany a 3-1 Wembley win suggested an even contest possibly influenced by dodgy decisions. It wasn’t.

Bobby Moore’s 84^th minute scythe on Held was a clear penalty – no team containing Francis Lee could complain about opposition penalties anyway, he wasn’t called Lee (pen) because of any Chinese ancestry. And England had only equalised after Alan Ball had fouled Herbert Wimmer in the build-up. “Badly” as the normally verbose (in a good way) Hugh McIllvaney put it. West Germany won the competition.

England lost in qualification to the eventual 1976 winners, although a point in Bratislava against Czechoslovakia would have seen them into the quarter-finals alongside Wales (!). The referee abandoned the first game with the game scoreless. But after only eight minutes. And you couldn’t see Kevin Keegan’s perm for the mist. AND England went one-up the following day and still lost. Right result again.

You really have to fast-forward to 1992 to find England as potential victims – they may have lost out on Euro ’84 qualification to Allan Simonsen’s penalty for Denmark at Wembley in 1983, but it WAS a penalty. Basile Boli head-butted Stuart Pearce during the first-half of England’s finals’ meeting with France in Sweden and the officials missed it, despite visible evidence trickling down Pearce’s cheek for some moments afterwards.

Had England won 2-0, a possibility with a man advantage for most of the game, instead of drawing 0-0, they would have made the semis. But this was Graham Taylor’s England. And, as one contemporary wrote: “You could say England drew with the eventual winners (Denmark). But you don’t.

The officiating in Euro ’96 was easily the worst ever – and not an over-pressurised third-worlder in sight. But England were spectacular beneficiaries not victims.

Tapas-bar bores had the total at two wrongly disallowed goals (both offsides) and two blatant penalties refused in Spain’s Wembley quarter-final. While BBC commentator Barry Davies was probably the only Englishman to think Alfonso Perez deserved his booking for diving after Paul Gascoigne had product-tested his shin-pads. And Julio Salinas was more onside than Alan Shearer had been when scoring against Switzerland.

Spain’s shoot-out display suggested that awarding the penalties might have made little difference. But, overall, we’re looking at 2-0 Spain, minimum, according to ‘right result’ rules.

An 86^th minute penalty against Romania did for England in 2000, as Phil Neville’s ‘many’ fans will testify. But the rest of us cover our eyes in case the game ever comes on telly again.

So, Campbell’s Portuguese misfortune is about England’s only stab at victimhood in European Nations competition. That apart, they just haven’t been good enough. A tradition Steve McLaren seems anxious, and destined, to maintain for as long as he can. Which, of course, might not be very long at all.

‘MotorMurph’ is written by Mark Murphy

Entry Filed under: MotorMurph Column

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