China White

Little things made the fifth Women’s World Cup finals so joyous, alongside the consistently entertaining football. The renditions of ‘Jingle Bells’ and ‘Auld Lang Syne’ from the Chengdu crowds. A Ghanaian defence including a Gladys, Mavis and Doreen. The sheer volume of silence which greeted every goal the host nation China conceded (exceeded in volume only by the Ghanaian players’ shorts). And the almost total lack of any on-field violence. A testosterone-free zone and the better for it.

It was a partly predictable tournament. Like the Rugby World Cup which shrivelled as a spectacle by comparison, it took an inordinate time to produce semi-finalists even someone with my cursory knowledge of the women’s game could have foreseen – I’ll leave aside the ‘inevitability’ of Germany’s triumph. And England lost in the quarter-finals.

The latter was a shame. Not for me personally, I’m an Irish Republic international football fan. But because of the circumstances of England’s defeat to the experienced, professional (metaphorically AND literally) world number one-ranked USA. Twelve mad minutes from previously sound goalkeeper Rachel Brown, an early second-half onslaught from the USA (who repeated the trick against Norway in the third-place play-off), and their own collective inexperience, combined to produce an embarrassing BBC1 debut, straight after Football Focus, in front of easily their biggest TV audience.

It was a quarter-final exit after just one win – against a hapless Argentina – and involvement in the tournament’s only nil-nil. But England were way better than that – obvious to non-readers of Misogynists’ Weekly. The Independent’s James Lawton clearly received his subscription copy at the start of the tournament, the only explanation for: “(England) are demanding to represent Britain in next year’s Olympics (and) are convinced the nation should warm to their achievements. Where do they get such an idea? Perhaps in Frank Lampard’s autobiography.”

Or, perhaps, they played well for all bar the afore-mentioned twelve minutes. Perhaps they were only denied an entertaining win over Japan by a shocking last-minute refereeing decision. Or defended exceptionally to be the only team to hold Germany scoreless. Or hammered the woeful but nonetheless South American champions in the manner good sides should. Perhaps the “£4.5m annual FA support” which Lawton wrongly implies is a lot of money, was well spent.

And, perhaps Lawton should try some research. England were among Europe’s top three – qualification standard for the Olympics. Perhaps…the Indie should retire Lawton, who’s spent too long filling up “many a page at the back end of his organ” (@ Private Eye) with such rubbish. Ranked world number 12, England did themselves justice plus in China. I’ll “warm” to that.

USA crashed in the semis. “When the Yanks met a team that matched them physically but brought more skill, their deficiencies were glaring” wrote Mike Woitalla after the 2003 tournament, adding: “(they) have relied too much on athleticism for their success.” All that changed in four years was the opposition. Germany last time, Brazil last week.

Good. They were graceless and arrogant. Goalkeeper Hope Solo’s nose was so high in the air it’s a wonder she noticed she’d been dropped for the semis (ridiculously – one howler aside, she was about the tournament’s safest keeper). And striker Amy Wambach was a bully – if extremely talented. The Brazilians they met displayed many similar characteristics but otherwise matched the ‘samba football’ stereotype to the joyous letter, even (especially?) in final defeat.

Having played together less than most – USA were virtually a club side after their Women’s League dissolved five days before the 2003 finals – Brazil looked clumsy for 45 minutes of their opener against New Zealand. But as the Kiwis tired – which they did in every game – Brazil flowed. Twenty year-old Marta lived up to the billing that is the Brazil number ten shirt as they dismantled the Kiwis and China before Pretinha’s 91^st-minute goal against Denmark ruined potentially the best-ever nil-nil in international football.

Brazil’s rustiness barely explained losing their South American title 2-0 to Argentina. “Must have had five players” opined the BBC’s Guy Mowbray, when informed Brazil were missing five players that day. “Five-a-side” chirped analyst Lucy Ward, gormlessly – more of her later. Jet-lag partly explained Argentina’s 11-0 collapse in front of Germany in the tournament-opener (supposedly “traditionally low-scoring affairs”). But not Vanina Correa’s addiction to throwing corners into her net. Ward hoped that: “this tournament changes perceptions” of atrocious women’s goalkeeping (it didn’t), just as the first went in. Her sigh of disappointment was heard halfway across Shanghai.

Germany were worthy winners, despite riding their luck in the final. And despite striker Birgit Printz’s reluctance to pass…even from throw-ins (most of which looked like foul ones, Japan and Brazil bouncing the ball off their foreheads). And Northern Europe (including England) remains strong, despite Sweden’s costly concentration lapses against Nigeria and the sense that Denmark’s players hated each other.

BBC Interactive and Eurosport had extensive live coverage. But Eurosport couldn’t match Ward’s ability to say nothing valuable whatsoever. “Australia will be thinking if they score a goal they’re back in this” was the height of her powers when Australia were 2-1 down to Brazil in the quarters. And she let down good BBC coverage – aside from ridiculing a Japan setpiece moments before England conceded from it. Twice. She was spot-on once. “I think there’s a satellite delay to my brain.” Three weeks and counting.

The final lived up to what had preceded it. Even if the rock that was Annika Krahn got rewarded rather than the skills of…the entire Brazil outfield. And whatever you say about flair being denied ultimate glory, “no goals against” in the entire tournament (Germany’s incredible record) says it louder (NB: Dear Brazil manager, leave substitutions until after a penalty. Marta had to wait hours to take hers in the final. Under such pressure, it was a wonder her kick reached the goalie).

England play Belarus in their next game – a Euro 2009 qualifier next month. If you can’t get a ticket, James Lawton’s press-pass will likely be going spare. More fool him.

‘MotorMurph’ is written by Mark Murphy

Entry Filed under: MotorMurph Column

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