Add comment April 14th, 2008 The Right Result
Archive for April, 2008
SOUTH OF HEAVEN
Remarkably, Rupert Lowe could soon be an EX-former Southampton chairman, thanks to the ego-drive that has been primarily responsible for Saints’ fall from top-flight regulars to potential league opponents of Rochdale.
Comedian Harry Hill once said: “You can always tell someone’s personality by what they’re like.” Which is why you can tell that Lowe is an arrogant tosser. It could just be a class-thing, though - he is very ‘Rupert’ indeed. Because there are far worse people in football (see last week’s column). Lowe has his sycophants in the press but he does give them something to work with. Yet the fact that he could be welcomed back to Southampton’s chair is the ultimate indictment of all who have been in charge since.
Since Lowe resigned in June 2006, “in the club’s best interests” (and not because his unpopularity and the value of his shares were rising equally fast), new, external, significant investment has been seen as the way forward for Saints. They missed out on immediate promotion after their 2005 relegation (both events under Lowe’s stewardship). So they will soon be bereft of the parachute payments relegated clubs receive in acknowledgement of the ludicrous financial disparity between levels one and two of English league football (only acknowledgement of the disparity, not its ludicrousness). And they’re desperate to avoid the fate of Leicester City and others when their parachutes failed.
Kia Joorabchian’s reported interest in Southampton in January was one of many which got stuck at ‘reported.’ “Wealthy Saints fans”, and former BBC chairmen, Gavyn Davies and Anthony Salz were ‘stand-out’ names on the long list of people connected with Saints takeover bids. Salz also had lengthy service in the City at the same firm of corporate lawyers, Freshfields Bruckhaus Deringer, which spawned current Newcastle chairman Chris Mort.
But his connection wasn’t ‘proven’ until he sat next to Saints’ then chairman Leon Crouch when Southampton played Palace at Selhurst Park. He’d already been connected to the vacant post of Saints PLC chairman – Southampton mismanaged by two seemingly interchangeable boards of directors. And he’d been part of a consortium, with Davies and a “hello, good evening and welcome” from Sir David Frost, which had previously shown an interest in the club. But it emerged that Salz was merely “using his vast City contacts” to put potential investors Crouch’s way. And whether through Salz’s vast contacts or not, a number of potential investors started coming Crouch’s way.
A financial stake in Britain’s cinemas and theatres briefly seemed a necessary prerequisite. Former Apollo Leisure Group owner Paul Gregg was linked to Saints in early February. But he’s been serially-linked to football clubs for years – Sheffield Wednesday fans could tell you a tale. And it soon transpired that he was merely introducing another ‘potential’ investor, Leicester Square Empire owner Tom Anderson.
Irishman Anderson was reportedly close to buying the 25% shareholding controlled, though not entirely owned, by Lowe. Lowe’s supporters are a compliant enough bunch to let him sell their shares as well as vote with them – if the meek ever do inherit the earth, they’ll be property billionaires. And the deal was being brokered by Tom McLaughlin, who’d been connected to Southampton’s 2007 world wild goose chasing record attempt, their pursuit of Microsoft co-owner Paul Allen’s mythical interest.
By the time the ‘Irish Post’ was trumpeting another meal for the Celtic Tiger – “Yet another Irish businessman is set to take control of a British football club”, making a grand total of…um…three – the non-story had moved back to Hampshire. “No takeover bid for Saints” ran the irony-free headline as Southampton-based barrister Jonathan Fulthorpe and local businessman John Cousins teamed-up to produce…”neither a firm nor an indicative offer,” alongside ex-Saints boss Dave Merrington, connected to the bid by his words, “no comment”.
It was a wonder we hadn’t seen statements issued announcing connections between the thigh bone and the knee bone. The whole farrago was expertly encapsulated by one Saints fan, writing on a local newspaper discussion forum, who’d heard “takeover rumours when I was driving along the M27…and then it happened…I was overtaken.” While another remarked: “If we had a point for every takeover story, we’d be safe.” Play-offs, more like.
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LIVERPOOL v BLACKBURN ROVERS - Rueful Roberts
Saturday 12 April 2008
With all the shenanigans that are going on in the Anfield boardroom, Liverpool can be thankful that things are going so well on the pitch, as displayed in the comfortable dismissal of Blackburn Rovers. Although the Reds may be aggrieved that they had a number of penalty appeals turned down, Rovers were rightly left feeling what-might-have-been after Jason Roberts’ first-half opener was disallowed for offside. However, the former Wigan Athletic frontrunner was shown to be level with last defender Martin Skrtel.
The Right Result is a 3-2 win for Liverpool.
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BOLTON WANDERERS v WEST HAM UNITED - Walton weakens
Saturday 12 April 2008
Having led the way throughout the season, Peter Walton’s claim as the top referee under Right Result regulations is under threat. Although it was an offside decision, the Northamptonshire official was perfectly placed to over-rule Bolton Wanderers’ disallowed goal. The ’scorer’ El Hadji Diouf was at least level following Bolton’s free-kick towards the end of the first-half. Captain Kevin Nolan was in an offside position but did not interfere with play.
The Right Result is a 2-0 win for Bolton Wanderers.
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DERBY COUNTY v ASTON VILLA - Small mercy
Saturday 12 April 2008
You get the feeling that 12 May cannot come soon enough for beleaguered Derby County. Already relegated and cut adrift at the bottom of the table, the latest humbling was their heaviest-ever defeat at Pride Park. The minimal consolation is that they should not have been hit for six by Aston Villa - it should have been five. As the player nearest to the goalline, Gabby Agbonlahor was in an offside position for Villa’s second goal and it appears that he did touch the ball.
The Right Result is a 5-0 win for Aston Villa.
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SUNDERLAND v MANCHESTER CITY - Luckless Black Cats
Saturday 12 April 2008
Manchester City boss Sven Goran Eriksson is in danger of giving managers a good name for their sporting honesty after admitting that his team were rather fortunate to come away from Sunderland with all three points. The former England coach accepted: “We were lucky. There was contact for the penalty but it was still a bit harsh.” We actually doubt there was any contact at all when Nyron Nosworthy challenged Daniel Sturridge and don’t think a penalty should have been awarded. We definitely think there was contact when Richard Dunne nearly took the shirt off Kenwyne Jones’ back and almost throttled Michael Chopra into the bargain. So the penalty award goes in the direction of the Black Cats.
The Right Result is a 2-1 win for Sunderland.
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ARSENAL v LIVERPOOL - Staying alive
Saturday 5 April 2008
Manchester United’s draw at Middlesbrough on Sunday means the race for the title is still alive but, in the world of the Right Result, it’s Arsenal who are the only other remaining genuine contender. Late in their game against Liverpool at the Emirates, which was tantalisingly poised at 1-1, we believe - especially compared to some of the spot-kicks that have been given in recent weeks - the Gunners should have been awarded a penalty when Leiva Lucas pulled at Cesc Fabregas’ arm. For the record, we did also review United’s penalty claim at Boro when Andrew Taylor blocked Cristiano Ronaldo’s fierce shot with his arm, but we could not be certain that handball could be classed as deliberate.
The Right Result is a 2-1 win for Arsenal.
17 comments April 7th, 2008 The Right Result
PERCEIVED DEGREES OF GRAVITAS
It’s been April 1st for a fortnight at Mansfield Town. Even by the standards of owner Keith Haslam’s 15-year tenure, it’s been nuts.
When we last visited, Haslam was meeting, greeting…and rejecting takeover bids from around the world, brokered by accountant Stephen Booth, appointed by Haslam to be the rabbit-caught-in-the-headlights as deal-upon-deal broke down.
Nonetheless, most observers thought the saga was coming to an end of sorts last month. One of many ‘would-be’ Mansfield owners looked set to lose the ‘would-be.’ Mansfield chairman James Derry and Sydney businessman Steve Dolheguy, rival bidders last autumn, hammered out a deal with Haslam after Christmas. However, Dolheguy’s backers withdrew very late.
Wisely, at the time, Booth persuaded Derry to launch a press-conference appeal for replacement backers for the already-agreed deal, asking local business to back their local club…for local people.
Reinforcing suspicions that he was Haslam’s mouthpiece, Booth blamed “the ubiquitous Australians” for the breakdown, rather than the by-now traditional last-minute ‘change of heart’ from Haslam. “The Australian side was never going to happen” he sneered, on mic, Derry straightaway spluttering that Dolheguy wouldn’t have spent three Australian summer days in Mansfield if he hadn’t been serious. And Dolheguy himself emphasised his continuing interest, if he could find new backers.
The press conference worked. Mansfield-born Steve Hymas, owner of Mansfield-based Hymas Homes and genuine, if occasional, fan since he was five (“my Dad was a season-ticket holder”) had been part of Derry’s 2007 consortium. And the pair were joined by shirt-sponsor Andy Sutton, owner of Mansfield-based A. Sutton Pipelines (where do they get the names?).
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THOSE NEARLY, NEARLY GLORY, GLORY DAYS
Some statistics are damned truths. And Tottenham Hotspur being comfortably the highest-placed club in the Deloitte Football Money League never to reach the Champions League is as damning as they come.
Those running Tottenham in recent years might regard Spurs’ 11th place in that league as a badge of honour – possibly more than an equivalently-exalted Premier League position. Which is as big a part of Spurs’ problem as the enduring but misguided belief that Michael Dawson is any good.
These days, it isn’t just Alan Sugar struggling to recall “the double.” Kids of today (and some adults) think it’s something Arsenal win from time-to-time and something which doesn’t really concern Spurs. And they’re right. Spurs’ glory days are strictly black & white telly, with only cups to keep the faithful happy since. And until recent victory over a mercifully Joe Cole-free Chelsea, even they’d dried up.
The headlines were ‘first trophy in nine years’ (and am I alone in thinking a late Allan Nielsen winner against Leicester barely counts?). But it’s only their third in twenty-four, since Tony Parks saved Anderlecht’s last kick almost at the taker’s feet in the UEFA Cup Final penalty shoot-out.
So much under-achievement made it difficult having Alan Gilzean as a childhood hero. Or having the programme whipped from your hand by Ralph Coates’ comb-over as he ‘sped’ past – all in lieu of memories of actual league titles. And even though current owners English National Investment Company (ENIC) installed “the king of White Hart Lane” as manager early in their tenure (Glen Hoddle, younger readers may be astonished to learn), signs that they could instigate a Spurs breakthrough, or even that they had a clue, have been long in coming.
It’s another sign of football’s brave new world that America’s latest ‘biggest-ever’ financial crisis, the collapse of investment bank Bear Sterns, should garner sportspage column inches. ENIC’s owner, one-time currency dealer Joe Lewis, spent most of 2007 buying Bear Sterns shares at ever-decreasing prices, waiting for the inevitable upturn which never turned up and now forced to sell at the most decreased price of all.
There’s puzzlement in financial circles at Lewis making such a big mistake so often. He’s lost $1billion, though he has $4billion left, so put the collection tins away. But Spurs aren’t, yet, directly troubled. Apart from ENIC underwriting a 2004 share issue, Spurs have operated independently of Lewis’s fortune. And Lewis’s people quickly emphasised that his Tavistock business empire, including Spurs, was unaffected.
However, Lewis appears desperate to claw back as many of his multi-millions as possible. And, as Private Eye noted with its usual perception: “Tottenham may be more saleable than 8,000 acres of Florida.” Just when ENIC looked like getting it right after all these years.
When Lewis and, more prominently, current Spurs chairman Daniel Levy spoke of their “excitement” at getting involved in football late last decade, “the experiment was purely the gamble to earn millions” (Tom Bower, Broken Dreams). However, though football was sport’s “biggest money-spinner” (Levy), ENIC’s gamble, building a pan-European portfolio of clubs, foundered on UEFA’s ‘common ownership’ regulations, seen as preventing unwanted ‘conflicts of interest.
Spurs were ENIC’s English choice, the last club with which they got involved and, alongside a fast-decreasing interest in Slavia Prague (to the extent that UEFA allowed Slavia to meet Spurs in the last two UEFA Cups) are the last remnants of this pan-European portfolio.
ENIC had critics from almost day one at Tottenham. Speaking from apparently bitter personal experience, AEK Athens chairman Cornelius Sierhus warned: “Investment of ENIC in Tottenham does not bode well.” And with the team discovering that none of Hoddle’s class as a player had transferred to Hoddle the manager, ENIC were a target long before an embarrassing Stock Exchange announcement of the afore-mentioned share issue.
Part of ENIC’s sales pitch was Spurs being “still in the FA Cup, drawn to play Crystal Palace in the third round” shockingly ignorant of Spurs only joining the Cup at that stage. Perhaps ENIC knew how bad Palace were and that a fourth round place was virtually assured. But perhaps not.
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