BIRMINGHAM CITY v MANCHESTER CITY - Doing it with Styles

Saturday 29 March 2008

It’s the end of March, each team has played 32 games and only two points separate positions 13 to 19 in the Right Result table. With that in mind, it’s probably just as well that ref Rob Styles’ decision - described by the esteemed Match of the Day pundit Mark Lawrenson as “the worst penalty I’ve ever seen given” - changed the scoreline rather than the result at St Andrews’. The coming together of Birmingham City’s Gary McSheffrey and Manchester City’s Sun Jihai appeared to be nothing more than a good old fashioned shoulder charge. If anything, it was the Blues forward who was the aggressor. To irk the Manchester camp further (even Sven was getting a tad peeved), McSheffrey got up, dusted himself down and clinically despatched the spot-kick.

The Right Result is a 2-1 win for Birmingham City.

COURT SHORTS

The phrase “it’s obvious what’s going on” has no legal force. And nor should it, though this government’s next Criminal Justice Bill could always change that, despite some of the convincing (he says modestly) arguments below. If it had legal force when applied to football’s frequent contemporary court appearances, a lot of time – and a lot of the money which dominates modern football, would be saved.

“Let the courts do their job,” wrote the Telegraph’s Patrick Barclay in a plea for justice in the re-emerging Carlos Tevez ‘affair.’ However, sleuth journalist Andrew Jennings pointedly referred to “investigators citing, off-the-record, evidence that isn’t good enough to bring to court” in reports on the current Swiss court case ‘involving’ FIFA. Evidence that not only Jennings would consider ‘obvious.’ Just as it’s ‘obvious’ that West Ham never fully-owned Tevez, not least because of the ultimate destination of Tevez’s multi-million transfer fee. Which won’t be the Boleyn Ground, Green Street, London E13 9AZ, you can be assured.

There’s plenty of ‘obvious’ in Zug, Switzerland, where bankrupt sports marketing company International Sports and Leisure (ISL) admit paying “personal commissions” (bribes) to sports officials in return for broadcasting rights, amazingly legal in Switzerland at the time, 1988 to 2001. FIFA instigated an investigation when they discovered £22m owed to them by Brazilian TV station O Globo had gone missing. However, when investigators discovered the destination of some of their money, FIFA did a handbrake turn, saying “we’ll look for it ourselves” via a civil court case which has yet to materialise.

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CHELSEA v ARSENAL - Drog’s double

Sunday 23 March 2008

On a sooper-dooper, grand slam showdown super Sunday, with the spotlight of controversy focused elsewhere, a crucial illegitimate goal received little attention on a vital day in the race for the title. For the second time in five days, a Right Result offside ruling goes against Didier Drogba. Again it was a marginal decision, but the Chelsea striker was in an offside position when a free-kick was played up to him, and he was the next player to touch the ball, before he struck the first of his two goals against Arsenal.

The Right Result is a 1-1 draw.

EVERTON v WEST HAM UNITED - Yak backed

Saturday 22 March 2008

Everton’s gallant bid for a Champions’ League place should have gained more momentum with a win against West Ham United at Goodison Park. Already leading 1-0 through Ayegbeni Yakubu, the Nigerian striker had a second goal disallowed for offside. Irrelevant of who played the ball to him, the former Middlesbrough man was clearly shown to be in an onside position. The Hammers’ subsequent leveller merely added salt to the earlier wound.

The Right Result is a 2-1 win for Everton.

MIDDLESBROUGH v DERBY COUNTY - Boro’s penalty prize

Saturday 22 March 2008

The first green shoots of Derby County’s revival might have been seen at the Riverside as the Rams went down to a single goal defeat and had late opportunities to take some reward from the game. However, it should have been a heavier defeat as Middlesbrough had two genuine penalty appeals rejected. Already leading 1-0 in the first half, County’s Andy Todd (the son of a former Boro manager) threw Jeremie Aliadiere to the ground in the area. After the break, Middlesbrough were awarded a free-kick when Jay McEveley tripped Gary O’Neil. Further inspection revealed that the offence took place just inside the area.

The Right Result is a 3-0 win for Middlesbrough.

TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR v CHELSEA - White hot Lane

Wednesday 19 March 2008

In a forerunner to the forthcoming weekend’s crucial title games, Manchester United stole a march on their top-of-the-table rivals with a Cristiano Ronaldo inspired win against Bolton Wanderers. At the same time, Chelsea were dropping points at Tottenham Hotspur. In a night of white hot action at White Hart Lane, Avram Grant’s men claimed a 4-4 draw but, in the world of the Right Result, the former champions should have lost more ground on United. In the build-up to Chelsea’s second goal, Didier Drogba narrowly ventured into an offside position and interfered with play just prior to Michael Essien’s clinical shot on goal.

The Right Result is a 4-3 win for Tottenham Hotspur.

THE CUP RUNNETH OVER

It was an emotional night. But Barnsley’s defeat of Chelsea was not, as Motson said at the time, “the greatest cup shock of all-time.” Motty had a mixed night, calling the goal superbly, the final whistle less so (“the reasons for quittin’ getting bigger each day” as Willie Nelson once sang) - his rationale, “what with Chelsea’s millions”, as appalling as those who believe football was invented in 1992.

Glorious though they were, Barnsley are ONE division below Chelsea. The biggest ‘one’ division ever. But bigger than Sutton and Coventry? Wimbledon drawing AT reigning champions Leeds – who were robbed in that season’s European Cup Final – having won AT First Division Burnley?

Wrexham and Arsenal? Lee Dixon wasn’t making the comparison. Worcester City and Liverpool? Tom Hicks would be insulted…if he cared. Motty commentated on Hereford/Newcastle ferchrissakes!

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PRESS TO PLAY

Criticise journalists at your peril, even if you are one. Guardian scribe Nick Davies’ book ‘Flat Earth News’ drew accusations from rank hypocrisy to treachery for suggesting that journalism was over-reliant on PR and sensationalism – describing the transfer of press releases into news as “churnalism.”

Meanwhile, relatively un-reported, Man Yoo’s communication’s director Phil Townsend lambasted fellow sports-hacks for “exaggerating…the most minor” Old Trafford stories and writing about United “every day (when) there isn’t a story every day”, concluding “impact is more important than facts.”

Pots and kettles went flying in response - Townsend’s own attempts to portray Man Yoo’s accounts as justification for the Glazers had produced the most furious spinning outside Muttiah Muralitharan’s test-career. Barry Newcombe, Sports Journalists’ Association chair, pinpointed one manager “picking and choosing who he speaks to…boycotting a broadcaster which pays public money to cover (them.)” Guess who.

BBC sports editor Mihir Bose cited the twin-terrors of control and profit hindering journalists: “All sports governing bodies have realised they have a product. They want to control it and realise money. (Information) is becoming a business proposition.”

Football is deemed especially guilty, comparing unfavourably with gridiron’s dressing-room access (“no flak, no spokesmen, no assistant managers” – Newcombe, on about Sir you-know-who again). Even rugby “offers daily access to players”, not necessarily a good thing – imagine daily access to Ashley Cole.

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MANCHESTER CITY v TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR - Off day for Spurs

Sunday 16 March 2008

After suffering the disappointment of a UEFA Cup exit on penalties in midweek, Tottenham Hotspur returned to the Premier League and suffered two erroneous offside decisions that turned victory in to defeat. Stephen Ireland’s equaliser for Manchester City was clearly shown to be offside. Spurs subsequently appeared to have clinched a point late in the game with Darren Bent’s close range effort only to be denied by the assistant ref’s flag. Although Dimitar Berbatov was in an offside position, he didn’t gain an advantage or interfere with play or an opponent so was not committing an offence.

The Right Result is a 2-1 win for Tottenham Hotspur.

WIGAN ATHLETIC v BOLTON WANDERERS - Lancashire hotchpotch

Sunday 16 March 2008

Having played with ten-men for most of the game, Wigan Athletic would probably think they deserved a touch of luck to come out on top of the Lancashire derby with fellow strugglers Bolton Wanderers at the JJB Stadium. The Latics were clinging onto their one-goal lead with 25 minutes to go when Michael Brown blocked Kevin Davies’ header on the line with his arm. Although there was a definite movement of the midfielder’s arm, wrongly, no penalty was awarded despite the vociferous protests of Bolton skipper Kevin Nolan.

The Right Result is a 1-1 draw.