MADLANDS

It’s mad in the Midlands. While London and the North-West fight for the Premier League title and planet Jupiter’s Richard Scudamore fights for…God knows, the Midlands football ‘scene’ has been undergoing permanent revolution which, to the relief of some, has avoided publicity’s glare and scrutiny.

Leicester’s re-interpretation of ‘Manager of the Month’ may need its own article. Meanwhile, Derby fans could be forgiven for a sense of deja-vu. “Derby left in dark over new owners” was the title of an article on last month’s US-fronted takeover…and an article about their last-but-one takeover in 2003.

Fans hope the parallels stop there. For while General Sports and Entertainment (GSE) were talking “iconic worldwide brands”, the legacy of 2003 was moving to West Midlands County Court because of problems finding “unbiased jurors in Derby.” Details, like Leicester’s next ex-manager, soon.

Mystery, not illegality, surrounds GSE. Business journalists said GSE was “doing its usual job of deal-brokering” for “un-named American, Chinese and Korean individuals” for whom they’d “acquired” the…ahem…”Derby County Rams.”

“It’s not a matter of secrecy” said Derby ‘president’ Tom Glick, who needs to look up ‘secrecy’ in the dictionary. “They’re not interested in a public role.” However, someone must know their identities or how could the FA apply its ‘fit and proper persons’ test?

What, then of Disney’s involvement, source of easy entertainment and ‘Mickey Mouse’ imagery before Christmas? Indeed, even six weeks ago “American hedge fund Shamrock” were “taking a majority shareholding” in Derby. Run by ‘guardian of the Disney empire’ Roy (Walt’s nephew), their involvement made sense in the nonsense world of global brand development as Derby had “synergy with other sports’ Rams brands” (i.e. the same nickname).

Perhaps not enough mystery, though, about the deal-brokers themselves. President Glick trumpets his sports marketing background, every paragraph of a recent local newspaper interview mentioning “the business side of things.” Yet his and GSE-owner Andy Appleby’s CVs are more impressive-looking than impressive.

Appleby has a ‘bachelor of science in English’ - Americans think the English Language is a science. He was ‘New England wrestling champion’ – his first meeting with Ken Bates could be fun. And he once successfully marketed the ‘Pine Knob Amphitheatre’ – regular venue for the ‘You couldn’t make it up’ society’s annual conference.

But the teams he and Glick have worked at read like a list of Woolies’ own brands. Appleby’s Fort Wayne Wizards were baseball’s team of the year in 2003 and 2004…in the Conference-equivalent Mid-West League. While Glick was chief marketing officer for the New Jersey Nets basketball team. Neither the New York Knicks nor the New York Mets, although the Nets are currently one place above the Knicks in the NBA. Derby in the championship seems about GSE’s limit.

Glick also ‘established’ the Oklahoma Hornets franchise in a double-quick seven weeks, selling out “more than 25” (26?) games in their inaugural season. But the Hornets moved from New Orleans in Hurricane Katrina’s aftermath, so Glick was hardly starting from scratch.

He’s part-redeemed by association with the Lansing Lugnuts baseball team, the best team-name on Earth, although again in the Conference-equivalent Mid-Western League. Meanwhile, Derby ‘executive Vice-President’ Tom Hinchey’s “involvement with Charlotte Bobcats” leaves doubt as to whether Charlotte is a basketball team or its senior cheerleader.

Will this second-class experience dressed as first-class will return Derby to the Premier League and to their ‘Rams’ iconic, worldwide status? For the sake of the 30,000+ fans who’ve endured this season so brilliantly, let’s hope so.
Ray Ranson’s finally in charge at Coventry. His ‘Sky Blue Sports and Leisure’ company obtained their required 90% of shares “well ahead of the April 11^th deadline” or a month after “the club will die if we don’t take over by January 7^th”, depending on which part of cods and wallop you believe. Coventry’s small shareholders have been ripped off, losing shares which originally cost upward of £50 each. A third of them are still holding theirs, mostly in protest.

Larger shareholders like Geoffrey Robinson “suffered huge losses to make the deal happen.” But their mismanagement ‘made the deal’ necessary. Staff made redundant at Robinson’s ‘New Statesman’ magazine made the ‘deal happen’ too. But they, like Coventry’s small shareholders, mismanaged nothing.

Ranson may produce his promised ‘brighter future.’ But what’s his motivation? ITV are rerunning 25 year-old highlights programmes, one featuring Coventry’s 4-0 drubbing of a hapless/hopeless Manchester City. Late on, there was a close-up of a brooding, out-played right-back who seemed to be thinking “One day, I’ll get my revenge on Coventry.” His name? Ray Ranson. Ulp.

It’s ‘the good, the bad and the ugly’ at Birmingham City– the good still to be cast. Last summer, Hong Kong business tycoon Carson Yeung was just the next foreign owner in line, though one with football experience and two European Cup winners as ‘associates’ – albeit one of them Steve McManaman (the other Christian Karembeu). But at crunch time, Yeung didn’t have the money, as many had long-suspected.

In its stead was a determination to pursue lost causes and irritate all-comers. Birmingham chairman David Gold may be a prime target for irritating – all Thatcherism and trousers, predictably a loud and leading ‘Game 39’ advocate. But Yeung caused chronic instability at Birmingham, contributing at least partly to Steve Bruce’s departure while missing three takeover deadlines – for which he dubiously blamed Hong Kong stock exchange rules. So Gold and co-owner David Sullivan (another tail-ender in any Mr. Nice race) ended negotiations in December.

Yeung claimed he’d “suspended acquisition”, though nobody believed him. And he’s now trying to force his reps onto Birmingham’s board. His 29.9% is the largest individual shareholding (the maximum allowed without having to make a market-rate offer for the rest). But it had no significance alongside the co-owners’ stakes.

Yeung forced an EGM to get his reps elected – including McManaman, who took fright as he did so often in big games and tried unsuccessfully to withdraw, adding superfluous extra farce to proceedings. This raised questions about Yeung’s communication skills, not for the first time, and highlighted inherent flaws in Birmingham’s operations.

Managing Director Karren Brady complained pettily that nominations weren’t on headed notepaper but startlingly admitted that they had “no right to ask” for nominees consent. If they had, they could have avoided the EGM entirely. They also made undignified efforts to block Yeung’s resolutions, taking expensive legal advice, which amounted to “of course you can’t.”

Gold and Sullivan increased their shareholding – at oddly varying prices – and are no longer ‘working in concert’, in takeover terms, which has an indeterminate significance (i.e I dunno). They didn’t need the extra shares to defeat Yeung – who only garnered 2% shareholder support at the EGM and will surely do so again when he puts another associate William Chan up for election. So maybe Birmingham’s takeover story has a few pages left.

But whatever Gold and Sullivan’s (considerable) faults, Yeung’s claim that he can add “business expertise…to help the club develop” lacks credibility. Yeung’s ownership of Hong Kong Rangers was once called “a shambles.” He’s being consistent.

The madness of (***)king Keith (Haslam) continues. Bids from the world, his wife and a sister-in-law haven’t forced him to sell Mansfield. An American consortium recently expressed detailed interest…but only to the press, not to club CEO Stephen Booth, who is charged with the sale. They remain anonymous. But a spokesman’s sister-in-law once lived in Mansfield. So…erm…
An attempted PR-coup backfired when Haslam’s lackey and (failed) ex-Mansfield manager Carlton Palmer abused his BBC punditry position at the Mansfield/Middlesbrough Cup-tie to eulogise him. The Beeb had to apologise, as web-sites and switchboards were jammed by fans’ complaints. But Palmer’s assertion that Haslam had “built a new stadium” looked incongruous at best when cameras revealed an entire stand in disuse and disrepair.

Booth ‘resigned’ after Haslam appeared at one home game (after ‘celebrating his birthday’) in breach of his self-imposed exile, smoking his cigar (NOT a euphemism) illegally and abusing a steward who tried to stop him. Haslam apologised and re-imposed his exile, while Booth quietly went back to work. But fans’ outrage persists. One Australian-expatriate who’s based trips to England around Mansfield games for years is boycotting Field Mill this time in protest.

Fans posted an imaginative spoof newsletter to Haslam’s home village to let his neighbours know ‘all’ about him. It contained ill-advised comments about his family and one couple – naturally elderly and frail (forgive my cynicism) – complained to police about harassment (from paper?).

But to some, Booth’s apoplectic over-reaction revealed his true, pro-Haslam, colours. “I have no comment” he said, before commenting extensively. He also, laughably, blamed it for Mansfield’s home defeat to Chester, forgetting that the newsletter’s big words would render it incomprehensible to most footballers…and that Mansfield are crap at home anyway – fans’ boycotts pushing attendances below 2,000. “I can’t imagine anything more destructive before a match” Booth added. “Haslam himself?” many replied.

A sale has been ‘weeks’ away for months. And non-league beckons while the question “Why doesn’t Haslam **** off?” remains unanswered.

It’s mad in the Midlands.

‘MotorMurph’ is written by Mark Murphy

Entry Filed under: MotorMurph Column

© The Right Result 2008

Resources | Terms & Conditions | Contact Us